Issue #6 Breakups- Bring The Focus Back To You

Hey, 

On my recent IG reel, I shared with you that 6 months ago I went through the hardest breakup of my life.

We dated for 2 years and this is someone I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with.

For the sake of my healing, I wanted to keep this to myself until I was ready to share. 

First, I want to say… I am so incredibly grateful for him. The experiences we shared, the love I was able to experience for the first time in my life, the connection, everything he taught me. All love for him.

Breakups are weird man… one day you're on top of the world, you’re in love and have someone to share your life with

And the next, it's ripped away from you and you’re faced with sitting with yourself.

Sitting with the grief. The heartache. The confusion. 

And you end up losing sight of who you are because you were so attached to them.

If you’re experiencing a breakup right now, the only things I need you to hear at this moment are the following:

1. Every morning, write to them. Grab your journal and write until your hand goes numb. The only way to get through these emotions is to feel them completely. Write everything that went wrong. Everything that went great. Why are you grateful for them? What did they teach you? What did you learn about yourself? Angry letters, sad letters, victim letters, gratitude letters. Write them all. Breakups are literally an OCEAN. Every emotion is going to come up, and needs to come out. It will come in waves. You may feel relief, then want to get back together, then feel happy being single, and then the cycle restarts and you’re back to missing them. The more you allow yourself to FEEL what's happening in your head, the easier it will be to move through them.
2. Have a good support system. Be wary of who you rant to and share your energy with. Make sure the people who are supporting you are good, kind-hearted friends and family who only want the best for you. Don’t go telling all the randos at work. I did it and they were not helpful. It’ll only make you feel worse. Also, your friends are not tired of hearing you talk about it. If they are TRUE and supportive friends, they’ll be happy to be there for you through your healing.
3. Distract yourself… but in healthy ways. Not by sitting on your phone and numbing yourself. I realized when I went through my breakup… shit, I have so much free time now! I hung out with all my friends, tried new things, really stayed present, and enjoyed my life with the amazing people that were still in front of me. 
4. Prioritize yourself and your goals. Having a goal to focus on is SO important whether that's starting a business, a new skill, school, a club, or sports. Figure out your goals, and get after them. Yes, a breakup is heartbreaking, but on the flip side, you gain SO MUCH POSITIVE MOMENTUM. It’s crazy, after I let myself cry and lay in my bed (because we deserve to do that too) I got up early Monday morning, went to the gym, and pushed myself harder than I ever had before. Take advantage of this momentum. Just because you don't have someone to share life with at this moment, doesn't mean you should give up on the life you have right in front of you.

The point I'm trying to make is, it's hard regardless. Feel the emotions that are coming up for you, but don't sit around and sulk for longer than 5 days. In those 5  days, you better be releasing it ALL. Then get up and start your life again because this is a fresh start.

You GET TO start over and bring the focus and love back to you.

And remember, you are special, important, and loved whether you have a boyfriend or not.

If you are experiencing a breakup right now and want to bring the focus back onto you and build back your confidence and self-love, click the link here to apply to work with me, and let’s see if coaching would be a good fit for you.

I love you,

Maggie Mae